Today I had one of my events take place. I was ok with it, yet I also know I could have done better. I know how much detail I can get from one spirit, yet I also realize that in front of a crowd of people I can't linger on for too long.
It is interesting with my work, that there are times when I know I'm in the groove, and then there are times when I don't fall so easily into that groove. I suppose it's like the musician, there are times when you're in the 'moment' of creation and then there are times, when you play on automatic but you know you're not creating sparks.
I like creating those sparks for the brief moment people get a chance to see me work. I always strive to have the connection so clear that there is no static what so ever and the spirit of the deceased person comes over me easily and effortlessly.
When performers say they have a routine, they follow and they then know they'll have a good performance, that is too what I usually do, follow a routine. Today though, I fell out of routine. It only took one phone call to shake my energy. This phone call wasn't even for me, nor anyone I knew. Yet it was too close to comfort.
During my work, I sensed I wasn't in the groove, yet the recipients at the event were happy, came up to me after wards and thank me whole heartily.
Someone also told me afterwards that I'm too hard on myself. I blame it on years and years of college and university papers and essays. Always striving towards the absolute best.
In my heart, only A is good enough for me, because I know I can deliver it. Yet it is obvious that B is splendid for others. They don't know the difference of B or A as I know it.
In the future, I will ask those that are around me, to respect my quiet place and turn off any gadgets so that I may perform the music spirit would like me to perform.
The string quartet should get full attention, not partial as this work truly is for spirit.
On a totally different note, why does my cat snore, and why does he gulp for air all the time?
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